is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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