I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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