just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
