I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Randomize
