I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
