He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
