put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
