Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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