Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
