I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
