Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
