this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize