Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
