had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
