You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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