Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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