just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
