roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
