so explain again why im purple
no
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
