i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
