It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
