Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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