That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
