i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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