Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
