i think my mom watched the whole time
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
