You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
