Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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