I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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