Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
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