What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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