I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My breasts were aching with rage.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
