Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
