do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
