My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
