Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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