did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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