my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
is wine microwaveable?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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