Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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