i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
