I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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