Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
