Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
