He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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