remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
