Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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