Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
