dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
