A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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