I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
