Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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