What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
