Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
